Mercy Now

Need to just cry for a few moments?

Mary Gauthier’s heart-achingly simple and beautiful song “Mercy Now”. That violin! Tania Elizabeth nails it with sweetness and restraint.

It’s been a hard month so far. Family matters, hard and sad stuff with our kids, impossible to solve. “Nobody died”, has been our way of framing things for Jon and I over the past 30 years. No longer true. Still hard. Health issues (I now have not one, but TWO inhalers). A runaway pet. (Of course, the one who panics once she gets outside, and figuratively goes crazy.) Listening to people blame those dealing with hardship on…guess who? The people going through those hardships.

Where is the kindness?

Many people confuse “nice” with “kind”. I’ve learned to tell the difference.

So I pulled up that video on YouTube and played it loud, three times in a row, this morning.

For the first time, I noticed its date: 09/09/10.

Nine years after 9/11. Two days before my birthday.

And yet, the lyrics could have been written today.

Today, I’m going to donate to three causes. One will be for immigrant children separated from their children at the border. (Of course, there should be mercy, too, for the immigrant woman who was denied entrance because even though her husband KILLED HER TWO CHILDREN, it’s been determined spousal abuse is not a valid reason for entrance.) And btw, I often sign up for very small monthly amounts. Even $5/month adds up.

Today, I’m going to mail presents to my kids. One will love them, one will resent my “pity”.

Today, I’m going to do some journaling, something I tend to forget now that I have a regular writing gig.

Today, I’m going to schedule horse therapy time. I thought the horse needed love and acceptance, & I’d being doing HIM a favor. Doesn’t work that way.

Today, I will look for every opportunity to be kind.

Today, I’m going to take exquisite care of myself. Because like so many others even less fortunate and privileged as I, I need some mercy now.

noddy and nick
Noddy, please come home!

Update: Noddy came home. I’ve mended the fences I could, and walked away from the ones I can’t. I’m off the inhalers. Time has healed a lot of wounds, and I try to forgive others and heal MYSELF for the ones that I can’t fix. Eternal student of life still a thing.




Author: Luann Udell

I find it just as important to write about my art as to make it. I am fascinated by stories. You can tell when people are speaking their truth--their eyes light up, their voices become strong, their entire body posture becomes powerful and upright. I love it when people get to this place in their work, their relationships, their art. As I work from this powerful place in MY heart, I share this process with others--so they have a strong place to stand, too. Because the world needs our beautiful art. All of it we can make, as fast as we can! Whether it's a bowl, a painting, a song, a garden, a story, if it makes our world a better place, we need to do everything in our power to get it out there.

13 thoughts on “Mercy Now”

  1. Luann your words rang true for me today. It seems that the world has forgotten how to be kind, there is so much discord,anger and just plain meanness free floating around our lives. I found comfort in Katrina Kenison’s recent blog post about Kindness, perhaps you would enjoy it too.
    Sending you big fluffy hugs from the swamp,


  2. You’re not alone. Many of us are so miserable hearing what’s happening under our watch on the border, like it or not, by the Trump administration. It’s heart breaking to say the least. I hope your beloved pet Noddy returns. Not knowing where he is is a terrible thing but cats can decide to be independent and later decide to return from their adventures. That’s what I’m going to hope for you. Don’t lose heart. There are days that seem impossible to get through but these are lessons that I guess we have to learn and we go on as better people.


  3. I cannot stand what that man is doing in your country (I stand stand the sound of his voice or his name). I have come to the conclusion that he’s evil.
    I hope Noddy shows up soon!!


    1. Someone referred me to a cat rescue agency here in Santa Rosa, and they are AMAZING! They’ve lent me a have-a-heart trap and shown me how to use it, and a plan for recovering Noddy. And if that plan doesn’t work, they have more strategies. All of this–for free! So of course I immediately wrote them a generous check so they can continue their good work.
      As for that loudmouth, you can’t imagine how hard it is that this is now the official face of my country. He still has his ardent supporters, people who are sure he has their back. The rest of us say, “Not my president”. The good thing? The level and intensity of social activism has increased significantly. The wheels of justice move slowly, but they are moving!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am glad to hear that both on the cat front & social activism. At least you get the chance (I hope, if he hasn’t started a war by then) to vote him out again. We in the UK are stuck with a disastrous Brexit.


  4. Luann, sorry about our president’s lack of empathy, thanks for the link for donating to the family border crisis. So sorry to about your cat, I know that is so hard. Have you have tried that app to put a photo out of Noddy to the people in your immediate neighborhood? Supposedly, the latest info indicates lost cats stay pretty close to the house but out of sight of it-within 500 feet. So it is possible a neighbor you don’t know well , has seen him somewhere in their yard. That app has helped a few people in my neck of the woods get find a lost animal. Fingers crossed for you.


    1. Thea, thank you for your thoughts and suggestions! Noddy is under our porch, and is already coming out for food. She goes INSANE once she’s outside, so I had no idea how to get her back. But with the help of the rescue agency I mentioned in an earlier comment, I now have hope we will get her back, with patience, and time, and the insights Forgotten Felines has shared with me!


  5. Please let me know if you need help with anything or just some company. I am usually available. Tim and I ate breakfast with a friend in town today and returning to the car we stopped to view Corrick’s window. I was blown away by  your beautiful fabric art pieces in the windows. They were gorgeous and I was awed by all the painstaking work you put into creating them. So sorry you are having a difficult week.  Please let me know if I can help 546-1660.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Pam, just knowing you care, and that you reached out, is a miracle I don’t take lightly! Yes, I’m still tired, and still coughing, and I rarely cry, but I did and I feel better. You are kind. Not nice. Kind. I love that in you. Thank you for your thoughts on my fiber work, and as for getting together, that’s something I’m trying to do better at. So the next time you think about going to a thrift shop, a book store, Riley’s, a good yard sale, flea market, movie at the Aiport Movie Theater (RECLINING SEATS!!!) just holler! And I promise I will do the same. big big hugs!!!


    1. Oh Lizzie, I always love hearing from you!
      Getting Noddy back is going to take time. Fortunately, she is currently holed up under our house. Unfortunately, she takes on the aspects of a feral cat when she escapes outside. Fortunately, I found a rescue group who are teaching me how to lure her back, which could take 2-4 weeks. And again fortunately, if that doesn’t work, they offer other strategies. I just hope she stays safe until then!


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