We have an elderly dog (12 years old) with health issues, and a young dog (not even 2 years old yet) with boundless energy.
My husband takes them both for walks, and sometimes the younger dog on long hikes. Because the more you wear them down, the better behaved they are. (Just like kids!)
We’ve always considered both dogs highly-reactive. Of course, they bark at other dogs walking by our yard. (They protect us from chihuahuas and pomeranians. OH, and squirrels.) And when dogs in a yard bark at them as we walk by, ours react badly, too. Our dogs won’t even walk by those houses, they’re so intimidated. Even walking by other dogs on leashes can go south, for both our dogs and those other dogs.
So imagine our surprise to finally realize that our younger dog actually love love LOVES other dogs. And our older dog is learning to be curious and receptive to doggo friendships too.
What makes the difference is all the dogs being off-leash, and having a space to run around in–the bigger, the better. Hence the dog park. It’s changed everything!
Nora tries to tease other dogs into chasing her. She LOVES to be chased, and she runs like the wind when they do. If they won’t chase her, she’s now learning to chase them.
After an hour at the dog park, they are both exhausted and happy, and so are we.
Now, a short segue: There’s a street here in Santa Rosa with a median filled with tall sycamore trees that are homes to a congregation of nesting egrets (all three kinds) and black night-crowned herons. Every year, hundreds of these birds gather, argue (noisily!) and select their nesting sites, lay their eggs, and raise chicks, until the young ‘uns are ready to fly, too.
I shared that with a friend who’s a photographer, and he explained something interesting to me.
There are bird WATCHERS, who show up with binoculars and bird guides, and gather in a group on one side of the street.
And there are bird PHOTOGRAPHERS, who show up with huge cameras, and gather in a group on the other side.
Now, I don’t know if they actually hate each other, or if some mutual friendships are actually formed. I was just surprised to learn the groups are different, and often don’t mingle.
I’m sharing this because there is a similar dynamic at the dog park.
There are groups of people and dogs I’ll call the ball dogs. The owners bring tennis balls and ball launchers (Chuckit!), and spend the entire time throwing balls for their dogs to fetch. (A few use frisbees, which are actually easier for the dogs to catch in mid-air. Pretty cool to watch!)
The other group of dogs and peeps…I guess I’ll call us “dog” dogs. These are dogs who love love love to interact with and play with other dogs.
And like the bird people, these two groups rarely mingle.
Oh, there are a couple of people who do both, or who are happy to be around both groups.
But for the most part, the ball dog people can get pretty pissy when dog dogs are running around and interfering with their ball dogs chasing balls. (Yes, I was a little oblivious at first, and got some snarky comments about our “aggressive” younger dog.)
The latest incident was when a ball dog actually started to chase Nora rather than chase a ball. The owner actually called the dog back, knelt down and held his dog to their chest, and glared at me until I apologized and walked Nora away.
I know if your dog doesn’t have another dog to play with, that training them to fetch and ball and return it is excellent exercise, and fun. And it creates a bond between dog and owner.
But I realized I’d rather Nora had dog friends. It’s made a world of difference in her anxiety/stress, the amount of exercise she gets, and it’s made her less reactive to other dogs while walking on a leash.
I’m no dog expert, but if I had to make a choice, I’d rather my dogs love to be around other dogs, who love to be around them. Dogs are essentially pack animals, which is why we become their family. We become their pack.
The downside of ball dogs for me comes from an over 40-year-old memory of visiting someone who lived on a lake in Michigan. The dog was a water dog breed–retriever? Lab? Can’t remember. The owner would throw a ball off his deck, and the dog would leap into the water to fetch it. It was very cool.
Until, after awhile, it was obvious the dog (an older dog) was exhausted and struggling, gasping for air, and struggling to get back on the dock.
But he wouldn’t…couldn’t…quit. And the dog dad kept throwing that ball.
Again…I know the dog loved it. I know the owner loved his dog. I believe the dog knew this, and knew how much the guy wanted to entertain his dog.
And yet…if someone were practically killing themselves to make me happy, I’m not sure I’d want that.
Who is the water dog/ball dog doing this for? Themselves? Or their owner?
And if he drowns, did he die from having too much fun? Or from trying to please their owner? And even if he’s not smart enough to stop when it’s too much…and he dies…
Are you really okay with that?
I know, I know, the chances of that happening are slim.
I know most dog owners want what’s best for their dog. That old dog was probably better off with lots of exercise.
I know the ball dog people are doing what works for them, and for their dog, and it’s not my business, nor under my control.
But what if, after their dog chasing balls for an hour, they simply let them go play with other dogs for ten minutes? (Some dogs don’t want to, of course, but is that because of their nature? Or their training?) You can have both!
But if I had to choose performance over fun, love, and connection, every single time…. Well, I wouldn’t.
And of course, I’m gonna switch this to doing our creative work.
I’ve volunteered for so many art orgs over the years, mentored new artists, shared my own insights about how to do shows, how to have an open studio, etc. And of course, by now, you know that I know that my advice is not for everyone, that each creative person is free to do what works for them, what resonates, and that’s okay.
But if I were making my art for fame and fortune alone, I would have given up years ago. Heck, I think “what’s the use?” almost every day. I could make more money working at Starbucks, and I’d probably get free coffee and scones to boot.
What keeps me centered and moving forward is recognizing what my artwork means to ME. When I finish a piece, how delighted I am. When I solve a problem or find a solution, how excited I am to move forward. When I have a great idea, how interesting it is to figure out how to bring it into the world.
When I encourage others to do the work of their heart, it empowers me to get back to the studio and do mine.
I do it because it makes ME happy, and when others love it, that’s icing on the cake. (When they buy it, it helps me pay for the cake.)
It’s become an important way for me to connect to other people.
So what kind of artist are YOU?
Is it about the ball?
Or is it about making YOU the best, happiest “you” you can be?
Luann Udell 