WHY WE ALL MATTER

Every year I make at least one Shaman Necklace, a large piece that rarely sells. But it reminds me to go big, and not to think small.

I’ve been struggling with blogging lately, and feeling like I didn’t have anything (good) to say.

But then I reminded myself (for the jillionth time) that writing helps me get clarity about what’s bringing me down, even if I can’t fix it yet.

And soon after, I got a beautiful message through my website, from a reader who shared how my words helped them get to a better place, too.

It might have been from an older post, but that’s the beauty of writing. Our thoughts and words can cross the path of someone who needs to read it, at any time.

Here’s an extended version of what I wrote back:

THANK YOU for letting me know that my words helped YOU get to a better place with your art!

I always write my way through the confused muddle in my brain when I hit a rough spot in the road. I always get to a better place, and I’m honored and delighted it helped you, too.

Re: You feeling you aren’t 100% there yet with the self-doubt and what matters about your work…. That’s okay. That’s normal. You did the deep digging, you got to a happier place, and that’s enough, for today.

Your misgivings and doubts will pop up again and again and again. And I hope you will always come across something–an article, a memory, a comment–that will get you back to your true self.

There’s a emotions guy I subscribe to, Nick Wignall (NickWignall.com)

I find his articles helpful, especially the ones about anxiety and questioning our worth in the world. Sometimes it’s just enough to tell our squeaky brain, “Thank you! I know you’re trying to help, and to keep me safe. But I got this, and you can take a little nap for now.”

I don’t know why that always makes me giggle, but it’s true! We might all be anxious critters. We worry we don’t matter, our work doesn’t matter, we’ll never get rich selling our work, etc. etc. But we DO matter, and the work we do matters. It helps us be better/do better, and if it helps one other person to do the same, we’ve ‘won’ !

See how what YOU wrote yesterday helped ME feel heard? YOU MATTER. QED!

Re: Art sales slowing down….Yes, times change, people’s lives change, the world is different than it was even 20 years ago. I wrote a series for on online/email newsletter for years, Fine Art Views, and the series that got THE MOST BLOW-BACK from readers was the one called “Why Millennials Don’t Buy Our Art”. (I totally spaced this, but I republished all these articles on my blog: https://luannudell.wordpress.com/?s=why+millennials+don%27t+buy+our+art) (For part of my research, I checked in with my daughter and she had lots to say about that!)

Newer generations are dealing with loss of job benefits, less income, smaller homes, etc. And older people have been denigrating younger people since ancient times. Here’s the first article when I Googled that just now:

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20171003-proof-that-people-have-always-complained-about-young-adults

I believe that part of this resentment comes from fear. In fact, the very fear we have about ourselves, and our art: That we don’t matter.

Every person on this planet matters. Every person has the potential, the option, to make their life meaningful in a jillion different ways. Even if they are damaged beyond repair, that can teach us something, or enlighten us when we see their true selves, if only to encourage us not to follow the same path they did.

I could write a looooooong post about all this. (Trust me, a lot of people let me know I write too much…!) Suffice to say, life is never a bed of roses, but we can choose to see the beauty even in dandelions.

And I also remind myself of two things that might explain the lack of sales:

1) There’s a heckuva lot more artists/creatives alive right now, more than at any other time in history/prehistory. But that also means we have the FREEDOM to be the creative we want to be in the world, no matter how large or small our audience is.

2) Somewhere, someone in the world loves our work. Maybe they can’t afford it, maybe their walls are full, etc. But when they let us know, that’s a gift, too.

Just like the person who wrote yesterday to let me know my words mattered.

That is the gift in doing what we love, no matter how “successful” (or “unsuccessful”) we are. Someone, somewhere, will feel better. And when we feel better, we can choose to do better.

P.S. Aaaaand right after I got that beautiful message, I got a typical scam email from that guy who wants to surprise his wife with the gift of one of my paintings.

I don’t paint.

P.P.S. If you ever have suspicions about an email, just Google the body of the letter to see if a thousand other people have received the same one.

Sorry not sorry, Winston Churchill, not fallin’ for this….

 

STORIES FROM THE FLEA MARKET: Angry Sellers Don’t Sell!

STORIES FROM THE FLEA MARKET: Angry Sellers Don’t Sell!!

Yep, I love thrift shops, antique stores, and flea market! Guess where all this came from?

 

For years, I’ve belonged to an online Facebook group for artists/craftspeople who do fairs. I won’t give the name, but it’s all about the mean/stupid/careless things vendors hear their (potential) customers say at those shows. And the sellers often share the scathing retorts they give back to those visitors.

The good part is, when our own customers say things about our work that can be triggering, it can help to know that EVERY creative gets sh** like this from time to time. Not just me. Not just you.

But ultimately, it’s not a group I check in with very often. It’s so toxic to hear the responses the vendors give, often derogatory, always full of anger, at best a joke at their (potential customer’s) expense. It always…always…brings me down.

A few days ago, I had the opposite experience. Or rather, I was (indirectly) on the receiving end of that.

I went to a large local flea market, one that may shut down permanently in a few weeks. I almost always find something that begs to go home with me. But this time, nothing really spoke to me. (This is so rare!)

Like most flea markets, most of the vendors were selling cheap imports, or kids’ toys, used clothing, the dregs of abandoned storage units they’d bought the contents of, etc. I did see some very cool rocks, and some beautiful crusty old bottles. But our studio buildings are having a garage sale in a few weeks, and I already have more of those than I’ll ever use. (BECAUSE I’VE BEEN PAWING THROUGH MY OWN STORAGE ROOM and I’m well-aware of how much stuff I already have…!!) (Plus I’d just gone to a bead-and-jewelry show the day before, and I had all the pretty beads I can handle this year.  Um….week.)

Then I saw a display that caught my eye. Hey! Maybe….?? I moved closer to get a better look.

But as I neared this vendor’s spot, they went on a loud and angry rant with their vendor neighbor about the “terrible” market visitors.

“They aren’t even SHOPPING, they’re just LOOKING!” (Aka “Looky-Lou’s”) “They don’t appreciate anything we have!” “They’re just looking for a real DIAMOND for $5!!” And more derisive, insulting rants and raves.

So what did I do?

I gave them a wide berarth, turned around and left. Moved on to another aisle.

First, I don’t want to engage with someone like that.

Second, even if I did, I would not buy anything. Even if it were something I liked, every time I looked at it, at home or in my studio, I would be reminded of their seething rage. And I do NOT want that energy in my home or my creative space.

Yeah, I get it. It’s hard when it feels like the world doesn’t appreciate the work of our heart. (Or the storage facility auction we bought that sh** at.)

I also have no interest in increasing the unnecessary anger in the world.

Even if our customers ARE actually rude/clueless/not your customer, there are better ways to manage that: HATERS GONNA HATE: You’re Not My Customer!

Here’s an older article I just found while looking for the right “tags” for this post that might help us all see how to actually work with visitors. And how to encourage them to become customers. MAKE ME BUY IT

And after I got home from the flea market, I did actually buy more beads online. (Please don’t tell my husband!)

Life lessons for today? Make what you love.

Do your best to put it in the path of others who will love it, too.

Don’t let difficult customers bring you down–just move them (gently) on.

And don’t become that angry vendor for your potential new audience.

Be a force for good, and kindness, in the world.