Some readers have been asking what the heck is going on with the monkey thing. (You can read the previous two posts here
I just wanted to clarify that the most recent event is not the bigger event. It was just a tiny piece of straw on the camel’s back.
Every year, it seems I “take on” a friend in need. I pour all my extra energy into helping them take “that next step”. I totally get that sometimes it’s a way to distract myself from my own stuff. But sometimes it’s just about being there for someone who needs you.
When it works, they step forward. And I step back. They’re grateful, but they don’t need my support more anymore. I know I did the right thing, and we both move on.
Sometimes it ends badly. I get that, too. That’s the whole a reason, a season, a lifetime story when it comes to friendships.
The biggest one, the one that really blew my powder keg, was almost a year ago. It hit very close to home. So close, I don’t want to publish the details on the internet. I apologized for getting upset (but not for saying my truth). I am very proud that, despite my anger, I left certain words unsaid (which I can’t say for the other people involved.) ‘Nuff said.
The circus/monkey mantra thing simply saved me from going any deeper into the latest, more recent circus/monkey things.
I don’t blame the people involved. I will never stop “being there” for people when I feel the call.
And I don’t blame myself. I’m usually pretty good at getting out before things go south.
But sometimes I overstay my welcome. And that’s why I ordered a new bumper sticker yesterday. It says, “Not my circus. Not my monkeys.”
Right next to the one that says, “Brake for moose, it could save your life.”
Luann Udell 