It only takes a minute. Really. You have 60 seconds, don’t you?
I dunno what’s going on the last few months. Oh wait, yes, I do. I had foot surgery, and accomplished not very much. (OTOH, I read a LOT of books! So THAT was good….)
I still run out of energy early in the evening. So I go to bed early.
And then the monkey mind takes over.
“I’m not doing it right.”
“I’m doing it right, but people are telling me I’m doing it wrong.”
“People don’t like me.”
“Well, actually, I don’t like them.”
“I’m a fake.”
“I’m not a fake!”
“Yes, you are.”
“I said I’d do something, but I didn’t. Okay, I did it, but I didn’t do a very good job. Okay, it’s a good enough job, but somebody gave me crap about it.”
“I should be better/kinder/smarter/funnier/thinner/more active/more patient/more appreciated/humbler/more assertive/oh-God-is-this-all-there-is-t0-life??? Self-doubt, self-denigration, righteous indignation??”
After a few months of this, I wondered if California was really were we are supposed to be.
Ahhhh, monkey mind…..
Unfortunately, there’s no permanent cure for monkey mind. Like an appendix, it’s ancient self-preservation thingie that doesn’t serve us well in our modern world.
But we can take tiny steps, daily, to soothe it. Tiny steps that slowly, but surely, get us back to our happy, productive, peaceful place in the world.
How do I get there?
For starters, I found this one-minute video online. One minute that helps you calm your monkey.
Second, watch for what crosses my path.
I contacted a friend recently. She asked me how I was doing. I wrote back, “A little bobbled…We feel up in the air again, some critical things missing. But also realizing we have to sit with uncertainty, or we’ll drive ourselves crazy!! Does that make sense??”
She wrote back, “Yes. I sit with it on a daily basis….until clarity presents herself.”
And then it hit me: I wasn’t ‘sitting with uncertainty’. I was struggling with it. Fighting it. Trying to sort it all out. And when I tried to sleep, it rolled over me like a giant wave, trying to take me out to sea.
Sitting with uncertainty… There it was, right in front of me like a Pokemon Go critter.
And now I look up at my desk, where a pile of little horses, bears, and otters are waiting to be turned into ‘worry stones’….
I feel better already!
(Thanks and a hat tip to Sheri Gaynor, feisty woman!)