WHY ARE PEOPLE RUDE??

The deliberately rude ARE different than you and I. We must understand that to protect ourselves.

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Still making little bears….

Yesterday I wrote a post, responding to another artist’s frustration on being treated rudely by a gallery she approached.

Shortly after I published it, I received a comment that baffled me. It was condescending and pretentious, and completely missed my point.

I almost replied to it. Instead, I’ll be deleting it soon.

Why? Because any comment that includes the phrase “Sorry to offend your sensibilities, but….” is not a serious contribution to discussion. (The writer’s contention was, I don’t understand that galleries are a business, and rank hobbyists need to know that.)

I almost leapt to my defense. The original article expressed dismay at how the gallery treated them, not the fact that they didn’t like the work. After all, if a business is rude to its potential vendors, is that good business sense?

I decided to delete the crabby response. But I still wondered why someone would be deliberately provacative. When I visited the person’s website, I could see no evidence of a working artist, or even a viable online presence. Nothing. Wha…..??

Finally it dawned on me. Whether I responded, or left the comment as is, people visiting my blog would do just what I did: Click on the crab’s site to see what they’re about.

The crab was using his comment as click bait. Diminishing what I offer, in order to build traffic to their own site.

We hear it all the time: Don’t feed the trolls! Don’t let them bait you, engage you, feed off your anger.

Unfortunately, the trolls are getting bigger, and hungrier.

A memorable illustration is high tech blogger Kathy Sierra, whose inspirational, highly-readable blog changed the face of her industry–until hostile comments and death threats chased her off the scene. (Temporarily, fortunately. She’s back, and she’s awesome.

Another is Ghostbusters actress Leslie Jones, who was brutally trashed on Twitter by a someone who’s name I won’t even print.

And of course, the biggest troll of all, the Republican nominee for President of the United States.

What do these trolls gain from their behavior?

Unfortunately, a lot.

They get attention. Publicity. Lots of it. And though we detest and protest their behavior, we end up talking about it–and them–even more. The Google hits skyrocket. The person who cruelly baited Leslie Jones actually celebrated when he was banned from Twitter. Why? Because the media talked about him and his antics even more, nonstop. The interviews continued, the outrage continued, and there he was, sitting in the middle of a media frenzy, enjoying every minute, crowing about his successful grab of the world’s attention.

The more we learn about people like this, we realize they are not motivated by the same things that motivate most of us. I want to be known for my work, of course. But I want it to come from a place of inspiration, compassion, support, and contribution. I want to use my gifts to make the world a better, happier, more joyful place.

These others crave attention. Power. Control. And they will do anything to get it. The world is a playground to them. The media is a system to be gamed. The rest of us are simply fodder for their egos.

In my own tiny world, where I make little horses and bears, where I share what I’ve learned on my journey so that others can be inspired to walk their own path, there is no room for these people. Oh, sure, some will make their way here from time to time.

But I’m learning to recognize them faster. 

And I hope you do, too.

 

 

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16 thoughts on “WHY ARE PEOPLE RUDE??

  1. I enjoy seeing your little bears and horses, have watched for a long time. Then you moved to Calif.. and have been struggling as an artist here with the rest of us.. I thought art business was better in the East.. I enjoy reading your blogs, Keep it up. Our gallery is a local co-op gallery ( Timberline Art Gallery- Oakhurst) ( people don’t realize that when they walk in), in the Sierra Mountains with Yosemite to our back, we are still having trouble having people come in.. We have been in business for 30 + years, and jury local artists. Most are professional in all ways… Some participate in the annual Sierra Art Trails. My frustration is that most do not use Social Media or reach out to inform about the gallery.. It is not like the old days! where we had many guests stop every day. We are open daily from 10-5 in the winter, artists take their turn sitting, so people that check the on line schedule can come in and chat with the artist..
    Glad to see that you are still on the net… Life is a challenge, but artists, feel that art must be made by them an extension of their body.

    Like

    • First, thank you for your remarks, I’m honored I’ve been on your radar, one artist to another!
      Second, thank you for recognizing how hard artists work to get their art out into the world.
      Third, maybe it’s time to have a seminar for area artists, on using social media to promote their work, and your gallery. I myself have only recently started using Instagram, and my presence there has grown faster than my original blog did!
      Fourth, because you are CONTRIBUTING to the conversation, I’d be delighted to post a link to your gallery! Timberline Art Gallery
      And finally, THANK YOU for showing us how this is done, in a positive, win/win/win manner.

      Like

  2. Thank you for the perfect response and for the original article. I enjoyed both. I’ve been a jewelry designer for almost 20 years through the good times and the not so good and it took me a long time to recognize trolls. Ignoring them is their perfect karma. It tells them they have no significance in your world which makes them crazy. I usually type a response but only send it to my own email so I can get the venting out of my system. Makes me feel good that I’ve stood up for myself and ignored the troll at the same time.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Anonymity gives people permission to let their shadow side come out and pitch a tantrum. I had one on my site the other day, criticizing a map I drew. The map was emotional and not to scale, but that’s what he picked on. Some point was not far enough West, another was too far North. I took the bait (being less sensible than you) and explained this was not a map to use to find where I went, but an emotional summary.

    He then did one of those “I”m sorry you are stupid” fake apologies. That’s when I decided that my blog is my living room. I would not allow anyone to denigrate me or any of my guests. I spiked his remark.

    He sent me an email, complaining about First Amendment rights. He has them, but they extend only to the edges of my sensibilities. When he steps on those, he’s out of my living room. I’m glad you spiked the comment. Good on ou!

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    • Yup. Anonymity, rude behavior, arguing, and pleading ‘first amendment rights’ are all huge warning signs. These are not people asking for information, they are looking for a fight. I’m realizing I don’t have the time, or mental energy. A dear friend once said, “You don’t have to go to every fight you’re invited to”, and it’s helped a lot. Thank you, Melinda LaBarge, and thank you, Quinn, for the clarity!

      Like

  4. Hi Luann, did you delete my comment? I didn’t see it listed. I don’t think I wrote anything to offend you. Please let me know about this,,,,,,thanks,
    Lynne Sward. PS You can email me at my address below

    Like

    • Hi Lynne, I checked and found a post comment under another topic, “Rude Rejection?”
      But I did not find another comment this one.
      So try posting it again, you should be good to go as you’ve been ‘pre-approved’. :^)
      If you continue to have trouble, email me your comment and I’ll post it for you.

      Like

    • Hi, Lynne, I found your comment! You left it on the article posted the day before this article, called RUDE REJECTION?? Mystery solved!!
      And it’s a very nice comment, thank you so much!

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  5. OH!!! geezzz….I think the Donald is contributing to everyone thinking they can just do and say what they want…hate talk…but psycho…scarry…Sorry sweetie, I read your post early yesterday and didn’t see the troll…You don’t deserve that!! So perfect that you thought it out…I hadn’t…ignore the trolls and delete….’their words are not important, we cannot hear them’:))-Dr McCoy:))))

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Luann, I have enjoyed your blog for some time now, it is so uplifting, and we need that so much as artists! Don’t let the troll get you down! Great response (none), I might add! I have been fortunate to not receive any negative comments on my Instagram, but I know fellow artists who do receive these disturbing messages. Luckily, these weirdos are the minority. I wish you peace.

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    • YES, they are the minority,thank goodness! But it’s good to think ahead on how to deal with them so they don’t knock you for a loop when they show up. Thank you for your kind words, too!

      Like

  7. People are rude because they can hide behind the cloak of anonymity. They are faceless. Meandering guess says they are pathetic excuses of humanity in the light of day. They are not contributing to humanity and if exposed in the cold light of day, they would shrivel in their slimy existence.

    Like

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