PIRATE DAY

So yesterday I was working on a project in my studio.

I had our remaining cockatiel riding on my shoulder all day. He has scanty feathers in his crest, and he’s a pearl-faced cockatiel–he’s mostly grey and white, looks a lot like a little parrot.

I’m wearing my aircast on one foot, and my left foot is bare–which means there’s an almost two-inch difference in my legs. So I’m lurching around my studio with a wide swagger.

The doorbell rings. It’s the UPS guy. They never stick around long, so I hurry as fast as I can to the door before he can take off. I swing the door open.

He looks at me and there’s this funny look on his face. I suddenly remember the big air cast, the rolling run, and the bird on my shoulder.

Zoe, who is unsettled and lonely since Bella died, starts shrieking at the UPS guy. Right. In. My. Ear.

With a straight face, I say, “I’m a pirate.” (I resist the urge to add, “arrrrrgh…”)

He says, “Oh.”

I get a little flustered, and actually sign the receipt with my maiden name (which, coincidentally, also has some “U’s” in it.

I say, “Oh, gosh, I goofed up! I signed my maiden name instead of my married name!”

He looks again with a funny look on his face, and says, “What’s your married name?”

“Udell”, I say.

And he says slowly, “Are you sure?”

I hope the next time he comes, I’m in my normal phase.