I had a talk with my Tae Kwon Do instructor the other night. I can’t remember the proper title for him, and sensei isn’t it. I’ll try to find out before I post this.
We were talking about my goals for my study, and whether I should/could/would strive for black belt. Part of me wants to do this. Another part recognizes that my age and physical condition will make this difficult–and certainly a very different process than that of an 18-year-old or young adult.
He shared with me a concept that really got me thinking. He talked about the concept of perfect black belt peak.
He said that ideally, a black belt candidate has reached a certain peak of physical and mental/spiritual perfection.
Sometimes, though, those peaks just don’t coincide. A very young candidate has reached a level of physical perfection–but perhaps the mental/spiritual aspects need more time to mature. Older candidates–those who come to the sport later in life–may have missed that window of physical perfection. But they may also bring a rich and deep level of mental/spiritual perfection.
Ideally, a program accommodates all three kinds of candidates. The young black belt continues to grow and mature. The older candidate struggles constantly to do the best they can with their growing physical limitations.
At first I felt a rush of disappointment. Yes, I’ve definitely missed that perfect black belt peak. I’ve missed many windows in this art! And, in a quick burst of dismay, I realized I’ve missed so many other “perfect peaks” in other areas of my life.
I never went to art school. I never traveled much as a young person. I didn’t take a lot of challenges when it came to work, or so many other things in life.
Just as quickly, I came back to myself. My life is what it is. And there are some areas in my life where I have found that window, and I have been brave, and I have taken risks.
And the biggest obstacles in my life have been when I’ve given up because I felt I’d missed the opportunity for the perfect peak.
Do you do this? Walk away from your dreams because you see that the opportunity for the perfect peak has passed?
I hear it all the time. “It’s too late to go back to school.” “I’m too old to do that.” “I don’t want to try that, I wouldn’t be good at it.”
Life isn’t always about the perfect peak. When it happens, it’s a small miracle. Most of the time, though, we are dealing with missed windows, missed opportunities, imperfect peaks.
What matters is that you want to try–because it’s important to you.
I’m pretty sure what my answer will be about the black belt test. It terrifies me! I know that everything I’ve ever said “no” to, everything I’ve said I’m not good at, will be on that test.
Because that’s what a black belt test is–testing what’s left when your strength, your endurance and your wind is gone. The test isn’t just about how good you are.
It’s about what you do when you think there’s nothing left in you.
For me, it will be about knowing my limits. But it will also be about not giving up.
I hope the next time you hear yourself saying, “I’m too old”, “I’m not good enough”, “It’s too late”, that you’ll take minute to stop and really think….
“How badly do I want this?”
and “What am I willing to do to get there?”
and “Do I really care how long it takes me to get there?”
and “What would it mean to me to be on the other side? To be able to say…..”
I DID IT!
P.S. Just to give you context for where I am in martial arts, here is the last time I blogged about my goal for black belt: Leaving