HOLDING ON TO “FACTS” THAT WILL HOLD YOU BACK

I had a great idea last night. I’ve been referring people to my old blog at Radio Userland. But it’s hard to maneuver around that site, and impossible to search it.

So I’ve decided to repost all those articles, one at a time, on Fridays, and maybe some weekend days as well.

They will all be marked as reposts, so if you’ve already read them I won’t trick you into reading them again.

Here we go!

Holding Onto “Facts” That Hold You Back

(This was my very first blog post, from November 29, 2002!)

Years ago, when I was getting my master’s degree in education, I met a young woman in one of my math methods course. We paired up for several projects. I found her bright and funny and easy to work with.

One day we were doing some measurements for a hands-on project, and she stumbled on an easy mental calculation, multiplying something by 9. I said something jokingly about her multiplication tables needing work. “Oh, I never learned my 9′s facts,” she explained. “I was absent that day.”

I thought she was joking. But she wasn’t. She said she really WAS absent that day.

Surely someone as smart as she was, and as someone who was taking master’s level math methods coursework, knew that elementary school does not denote one day out of the entire fourth-grade curriculum to teach the nines multiplication table. But she wasn’t kidding. She told me an elaborate story about being sick the day the nines table was taught, and so more than 15 years later, she was still unable to multiply by nine.

I think of that young woman often.

Coincidentally, in that same math teaching course, we were learning how to teach kids their math facts–addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. There are many easy facts. Let’s take the multiplication tables. Everyone knows what the ones facts are–1×1=1, 2×1=2, etc. Next come the twos, and it turns out they’re pretty easy, too. Most kids learn them quickly. Next are the fives and the tens. They’re easily mastered, too. Also the “doubles”–3×3=9, 4×4=16, and so on. Now if you were to map out a chart of all the multiplication facts, and mark off all the “easy” ones, including their reversals (2×3 and 3×2, for example) you’d find almost half of the facts accounted for. And what are the strategies for learning those remaining facts?

The answer, it turns out, is not so much fun. You just have to memorize them. Of course, there are some good tricks, like the nines tables. (6×9, one less than 6 is 5, 5+? = 9? 4. So 6×9=54. Cute, huh?) But the straight skinny is, ya gotta memorize them. The math facts are one of the few academic skills that are ultimately only learned by memorization, and best reinforced by drill and practice. (Acquisition of vocabulary, especially in learning foreign languages, also benefits greatly by this approach, BTW.)

So here we have two statements, or stories, about facts. One is measurable, observable, concrete. To learn the math facts, you gotta work at them. You gotta memorize them. You gotta be able to knock out the answers within a second or two of hearing the numbers. But once you learn them, you never really forget them. You might get rusty, or you might get stuck on one or two. But the foundation, the habit, is still there.

The other story is harder to quantify. Everyone will believe it, few will really examine it. It goes like this: “I have a special story about why I can’t do something. It’s an odd story, but it makes me feel better about not being able to do that thing. So I hold onto it fiercely.” Even when a calm, adult eye would see that it doesn’t even make sense anymore.

What do you gain by holding onto a story like that?
Well…you don’t have to try anymore. You can have a clear conscience about why you can’t do that thing. Others might think you’re silly, but it’s possible no one would ever say that to your face. In fact, probably other people, who have their own “I can’t” story, nod their head in sympathetic agreement, relieved that someone else has such a story, too. You may even get sympathy, or admiration. “Wow, that’s quite a story! How awful for you! No wonder you can’t do that!” It also is a way to make sure you don’t have to do the real work of learning those new facts, those new ways of doing something. It’s too hard, it’s too time-consuming, it’s too late, it’s not possible, and so on.

But what do you lose with a story like that?
A lot. A lot of missed chances, missed opportunities, a whole world of missed possibilities.

I’m telling this story because I used to tell myself a story like that, too. It was all about how I couldn’t do the things I really wanted to do–make art. It was about how I couldn’t be what I really wanted to be–an artist. It was about how I would never be able to sell my work, or find anyone who would want to buy it. Surprisingly, once I realized my “stories” I told about myself were just that–stories–I found I could change the story to one I like better. A huge paradigm shift occurred, and I began to see that all the things that “couldn’t happen”, could.

I now hear that old story from people who ask me how I accomplished so much in the last five years. When I tell them, they first tell me how lucky I am. (I am, but not for the reasons they think!) I soon hear their story. They think it’s specific to them, a special story, an unusual story. When I point out that I had the same story, they are quick to correct me that their story is different. When I point out the inconsistencies of what they’re telling me, they tell me I don’t understand their story fully. When I suggest ways they could tell another story, they are horrified. They’ve put so much energy into holding onto this old story. There’s just too much at stake. It’s always a really, really good story why they simply cannot do the very thing they just told me is their true heart’s desire.

So my first question for you today is: What is *your* story? What is the story you tell about yourself that is holding you back from doing the things you really want to do?

Tomorrow I’ll tell the story about my friend and his messy house. Now there’s a story!

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3 Comments

Filed under art, craft, mental attitude, telling your story

3 responses to “HOLDING ON TO “FACTS” THAT WILL HOLD YOU BACK

  1. Once again, thank you. Now, I have a story I have to re-write.

  2. True and guilty as charged……at least once upon a time. My story had to do with not having time to make art because I was “working, raising a family, taking care of a house and yard, aging parents, pets etc etc etc. ” Then, 12 years ago, my husband was transferred to another state, my youngest child went to college and I quit my job d/t the move. All of that made it easy to reinvent myself and I have never looked back……. Thanks for the great article.

  3. Yes, I think I will rewrite my story too. Thanks Luann!

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